she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
