fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
