I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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