remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
