I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
