the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
