I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
