Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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