Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm always down for nudity.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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