Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
