the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
