Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
