time to smoke my breakfast
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
