when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
