We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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