i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
