wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
