i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
