During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
