U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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