then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
