well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
