girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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