It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
