This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
