This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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