How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
