I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dick very happy bro
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
