Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
