There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
