i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
