just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
