GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
