Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
