It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
