thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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