It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
