So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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