But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
