No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
