he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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