I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
