Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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