I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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