sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
