take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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