naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
