Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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