I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Did you just see the Batmobile???
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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