I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
